Monday, November 29, 2010

Fighting, Is it really necessary?

I recently had a reader send me the question: is there a place in junior hockey for fighting? Some say yes, some say no, I say who gives a fuck? Hockey is hockey, people are going to get angry and want to fight. Do I think it should be legal? Yeah, fuck it why not. The empire league banned fighting and hands out a game misconduct if you drop the mitts. I don't exactly agree with that rule, it looks good on paper and it sounds like they are trying to clean it up a little bit, but everyone gets excited when they see a fight. One of the best things to see in a game is watching someone get punched square in the fucking face in a scrap. But here is what really ticks me off, the kids who chirp til the cows come home, but their gloves are fucking superglued to their hands. Like holy shit guys, if you're going to talk shit you better be ready to throw down. Junior hockey does involve a shitload of chirping, every level of hockey has it, but if you're going to chirp be ready to back it up. I'm sick of seeing kids chirp the fuck out of the kid across from them and then just skate away and pretend they don't see the kid when he is standing there asking for a scrap. I played two years of junior hockey and lets say I became very familiar with stitches and ice packs in my years in juniors. I'm sure everyone reading this has seen it happen a number of times. Here is an example of what pisses me off the most:

Chirper: Yo kid sick fucking double tuck
Bruiser: Alright kid lose the fucking ankle tape ya pussy
(More chirping ensues)
Bruiser: You wanna get this goin or what?
Chirper: (Skating away, avoiding bruiser at all costs)
Bruiser: (Tries to push the kid to fight, gets a penalty called on him)
Chirper: (Bruiser is now contained in penalty box) Hey way to go faggot, take another penalty ya fucking homo.
Bruiser: Lets fucking go when I'm out
Chriper: (Hides behind coach on bench)
I was never one to chirp. I was the bruiser in that situation. Use your imagination and create that scene in your head play it out and all that good shit. The chriper is a kid that people say "everyone loves to have one on your team, but hates to play against them. I hate people who say that. I hate playing with, against, or within a three mile radius of a chirper. All they are is a massive vagina. Either stop chirping, or drop the fucking gloves for shits sake. Fighting can sway the momentum of a game, but it can backfire horrendously and kill your teams momentum and put you in a huge hole where you will get fucking shit on and lose like by like a massive deficit. Fighting is cool and all, but the purpose of it isn't to look cool. It is to get your team fired up. So next time you come across a chirper, fucking pester him til he fights you and if he doesn't, well then you throw a nasty leg check and watch him cry like a bitch on the ice. Fighting is not a glorious act, getting punched in the face sucks. But if you're going to chirp just drop the gloves and take it like a man. Now to all of you chirpers reading this post, seriously take your skates, put them in your bag and toss it down in your basement. Its time to hang 'em up chirpers, theres no room for you on the ice. Hockey is a sport for men, not for pussies. I won't go out and say fighting is necessary, but I will say that there is a place for it in the game. Thanks again to all the reader. Spread the word and tell your friends about the funniest fucking news in hockey.

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